• What makes someone UNDATEABLE?

    Not too long ago on my Facebook page I asked "#QUESTION: How long after a divorce/break-up do you wait before you date someone?" The replies were filled with various opinions but also a lot of "why" people were currently not dating. After quite a few replies someone noted how messed up we all are. And it's true, at this age you've been to the circus (quite a few times) and you've seen the show (and 90% of the acts).

    Between this post and the DAILY posts I see from my other Facebook "Friends," it is CLEAR quite a few of us have been HURT! The post I see vary from the passive aggressive, "Real Women don't..." and "Real Men should always..." to hateful and resentful post about the opposite sex. I don't think a day goes by that I don't see a DIS to the opposite sex in regards to relationships and dating. So it got me to thinking today, "#QUESTION: What makes a person UNDATEABLE?" The question came to mind largely because, these sorts of disses, makes someone UNDATEABLE TO ME!

    If we're Facebook "Friends" it will come as no surprise that I've often been described as "High Maintenance," when it comes to dating but honestly it's that I have HIGH EXPECTATIONS! #TwoDifferentDifferences And while there are PLENTY of superficial things I could name in regards to someone being UNDATEABLE, there really are just two things that cancels someone out for me. 1) Holding on to baggage from previous relationships and 2) Not being conscience of or responsible for the their personal energy.

    I've done too much WORK getting rid of my own relationship baggage to consider carrying anyone else's that didn't have shit to do with me. I don't think I've been hurt, betrayed or disrespected any less or more than the next person. However, since I started dating last year, I've realized not everyone has done their own work. I've sat on date after date listening to men complain of being taken advantage of and being hurt by women. OK... Ok... ok! I get it. BUT WE ALL HAVE, right? I mean, don't get me wrong, it's cool to talk about previous experiences. Yet, when they are spoken of as if they happened just yesterday and it's been over 8 months or more... DUDE, you might want to consider therapy. I understand all too well how hurt feelings linger. HOWEVER, that's a self-inflicted pain that I no longer participate in. (*See my previous blog about acceptance) Therefore, I will not cloud the peaceful space that I've created with someone else's relationship baggage. I can't fix the problem someone else created. So if a man is still wrapped up in hurt and resentful feelings of a previous relationship... Stamped and certified... UNDATEABLE!

    The second of the two is most important. Your personal energy says EVERYTHING about you. And if a person is not conscience of it they have not idea how to control, use or change it when need be. Your energy is what attracts EVERYTHING that comes in and out of your life... PERIOD! Your energy emits from thoughts you carry, which also manifest into words you speak. So when someone is consistently speaking resentful and hateful words in regards to relationships, it is that same energy they will attract. I CAN'T BE BOTHERED WITH THAT!!! And more importantly, THAT'S NOT THE ENERGY I EMIT! So I can't create a successful SYNERGY with that.

    I seek a more PEACEFUL existence. I make an effort to watch my energy and act responsibly with it in a couple of ways. If I'm in a funk, I REMOVE MYSELF from people and situations as to not have my energy absorbed by others; it's not fair to them. But wait... I'm not ALWAYS successful, although you can for damn sure bet I try to save others from myself when need be. And the other way is all spelled out in that aforementioned previous blog about acceptance. I don't spend energy on things I can't change. Therefore, you will NEVER see a resentful energy about previous relationships from me at this point. All that's said and done, is just that... said and DONE! There is no changing it... as a result I have no energy for it. So if a man is not conscience in a way that he has control (EMOTIONAL INTELLIENCE) over his energy (thoughts, feelings and words)... Stamped and certified... UNDATEABLE!

    Do yourself a favor people... LET THAT SHIT GO!

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