• Healing from scares of being bullied

    When I was a child I was bullied, I was chased to the bus stop, jumped on my groups of girls because the school I attended was in the projects, but I didn't live in the project so they bullied me. I was picked on mainly because I didn't have any siblings that attended that school, I was a tall quite call that only has at the most 2 friends. My mother worked and wasn't concerned and I was loner and I was a easy target. My bullies would jump on me on Friday, beat me to school on Monday and tell the teacher I fought them and I got in trouble because they told first. My mother would never come to the school and address the issue or show any concern. I dealt with this for years. I finally got tired of being beat on and fought back. I put a pair of vice grips in a crown royal bag and when they came for me I just wrapped the string around my wrist and swag it. If you got hit you were to close and you were my target. Slowly they stop picking with me, I even knock one girls tooth out her mouth. So my point is this bullies go unnoticed until their victims fight back or speak up.

    Kenya got what she deserved. I don't care what any body says violent isn't always the answer but when someone pushes you to your breaking point, don't break push back. The United States has bomb countries that has bulled by weaker countries and as Americans you agree and reelect the president that declared war. Now on a smaller level you find a soap box and yell be responsible for your actions its never ok to put your hands on anyone. but its ok to verbally abuse someone and mentally scare them. bull shit.




  • The Monday after......Trayvon Martin is the spark lets start a flame

    The Monday after the Trayvon Martin verdict, now that we have had time to collect ourselves we really need to focus on how this happened. We can't blame GM because the laws in Florida are in his favor. So what we need to do now is...

    1. Make sure you are a registered voter.

    2. Research the law makers in your district, State and federal offices. Make sure what they believe in and stand for are the same as you.

    3. Be just as outraged when the child on your block, near and or around you is shot or shot and killed.

    4. Stop jumping on the bandwagon and speak out on the issues that bother you, sometimes if you kick it off others will follow. Be the voice you want everyone to have.

    And last please don't forget that even though you didn't give birth to Trayvon Martin ( 17 yrs old), Hadiya Pendletonor (15 yrs old), Andre Jermaine Stephens ( 17 yrs old) and Jonylah Watkins ( 6 months old), do something , say something, pray for change before it is your child.


    1 comment

  • Envy

    This morning I woke up with a phrase in my head. Envy is an emotion that shows you’re not willing to put in the work. To be honest I have no clue where it came from or why it was the first thing I thought of. But as the day went on, I started to reflect on that phrase. Envy!! What have I been envious of lately? Well awhile ago I was a bit uncomfortably about someone I thought wasn’t worthy of what she had. I thought she has a nice car, a great job, nice clothes, she travels and her shoe game is sick. Yea, I felt a certain kind of way about that. I envied her life. When I caught myself I felt embarrassed. How can I envy anyone when I have not put in the work!

    While in college my professor said, “you can’t get ahead doing what everyone else does”. That stuck with me but I never put it into play. As the day progressed I wrote down the steps I need to accomplish what I envied about that woman. I have a good job, but have I tried to work harder, do more to make my job a great job? The answer was NO. I have a nice house, but have I researched on how to decorate my house to where I’m proud of it? The answer was NO. I have a ok car, but had I shopped around to get a car that I really wanted? The answer was NO. I have traveled, but since I hate traveling alone I don’t do it as much as I would like. Should that stop me from going? The answer was NO. So now I feel dumb, how can I envy anyone when I have not tried to put myself in a position to receive what they have; that I want. Envy is a disease that is cured with a healthy dose of WORK!!!!


    1 comment

  • Can you be a Player, with Low Self-Esteem?

    I made the statement “that men who cheat on their wives, and significant others, and who are not able to control their sexual desires, don’t value themselves and suffer from low self-esteem.” Women who sleep around and cheat are constantly described as having low self-worth, and low self-esteem. How is it any different for men? Air is free, because it is easily accessible, I can find a penny anywhere but I couldn’t find ten grand sitting around. The difference between, air a penny and ten grand is value. Something that is easily accessible doesn’t have a lot of value. And anything that is given away freely by the owner means the owner doesn’t perceive it as holding much value. It is easier for an attractive woman to get sex from a man than it is to get a drink. We won’t spend 10 dollars at the bar for her to share a drink with us, but we will take her home, lay her down and sleep with her in order to fulfill some sexual desire, or mental obligation to get have sex. There are tons of men who have probably slept with more different women than they have bought drinks for. We will criticize women for “Smashing the homies”. Call her a whore, accuse her of having low self-esteem and this by the men who actually had sex with her. While at the same time, a man will make an attempt to sleep with a group of friends and see it as a badge of honor. Look at that scenario in a different way. If I sent 10 random women to a man that he found attractive; to ask him for 50 dollars how many of the women would he say yes too? On the same token, if I sent 10 random women he found attractive, to ask him for sex, how many would he have sex with? Once again……. If something is easily accessible then it doesn’t hold much value, if that something happens to be a man’s penis it doesn’t change that equation. Too many men don’t value themselves, and the cause for that is a lack of self-worth or low self-esteem.

    I have never been around a man, who portrayed whorish tendencies that didn’t have fake confidence. They were all hiding some type of insecurity which was the catalyst of their behavior. It cannot be denied that sleeping with different women gives a sense of accomplishment. The saying “Men hunt women are the prey” partially describe the sense of accomplishment that a man feel when he sleeps with a woman(the reason why some brag). More so, the one aspect of a man’s life that changes as he matures, and become more secure is the way that he treats and views women. He becomes more selective; his thirst level comes down. It is no longer about having sex with as many women; it becomes more about the experience. There is no longer anything for him to prove.

    Always be Your Priority




  • No Church for the Wild

    My wedding is now 20 months away and I have started to think about colors, themes, guest list, decorations, the dress, and oh yea, the place. I already know where my wedding won’t be held and that’s in a church. I have never pictured myself standing at the altar promising God to love honor and obey. Obey (laughing) that’s funny as hell. Anyway, since I was a child I always questioned religion. I could never wrap my mind around the bible, the stories and commandments. I never really thought that marriage was strictly for Christians. All religions get married even the ones that don’t believe in God. So why am I suddenly being asked “Why are you getting married, why not have a commitment ceremony, since you don’t believe in God”?

    To be honest I was light weight pissed I was being asked why was I getting married if I didn’t believe in God. I never said I don’t believe in God, I just have issues with the bible so I chose to believe in a lets just say, "HIGHER POWER." I’m spiritual, and my fiancée and I are so comfortable with that so, why can’t other people be? My real beef is, why do Christian believe that marriage is only for Christians? So gays can’t get married because the bible says being gay is wrong or a sin? (I’m just going by what I heard; I only use my bible for holding my obituaries.) Am I a heathen, a devil worshiper, an abomination, because I don’t believe in 90% of the bible, so much that I shouldn’t consider being married? Would a commitment ceremony be more fitting, and why so?

    I’m getting married, because me and my fiancée believe that marriage is a level of commitment between us and our family and friends. When we speak our vows we are making a promise with each other, our family and friends to love, support and honor each other. We are making those vows in front of people we love so if we break those vows they can call us out on it and get us back in line. The Church is a building with as much sin in it as a crack houses. My vows are promises made to each other, not the bible, the church or the preacher. Truth be told none of those people are around when your man is liking booty pics on Instagram and your ready to knock his head off. That ghetto love is truly ungodly, lol just kidding... not really






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